Signing up to the 20 Project has got me thinking lately about my story so far, and then yesterday I read this fascinating article about parenting behaviours that prevent children from growing into leaders.
Whilst I don’t have children myself, I have six gorgeous nephews who I am watching grow up into young boys, and soon teenagers. It’s so interesting to see how different they all are (even the identical twins!), and even as an aunt, I want the best for these guys. I want them to love their lives, and to achieve their full potentials as they grow into young men.
So, it was with great interest that I read what leadership expert, Dr Tim Elmore, had to say about parental behaviours that could hold children back, and to compare those with my own childhood.
1. Children need to experience risk in order to develop healthy risk-taking behaviour. We need to fall and graze our knee, or get our heart broken. Growing up in Zimbabwe there was certainly less emphasis on safety, and grazed knees were a fairly common occurrence. In fact, when my father started his picture framing business in our garage, and my sister and I decided to have a play date with his mitre guillotine, the result was somewhat more extreme than a grazed knee (thankfully that story had a happy ending)! And heart breaks – well, I had my fair share of them!
2. Children need to learn how to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own. We need to get used to doing things without help. As a teenager I decided that I’d had enough with education, and didn’t want to go to university even though I had a capability to go. In my early twenties I decided that maybe I’d been wrong, and so I became a student again, and made sure that I paid my own way. It was tough at times, but I did it and I felt such a sense of achievement at the end. The lesson that “I can do it” has gone on to serve me well!
3. Children need to learn that poor behaviour will not be tolerated. Instead of just focusing on the “everyone is a winner” mentality, we need to know the reality that bad behaviour will get us punished. I certainly remember plenty of occasions when I had my backside spanked, and in no way do I feel that this did me any harm, but instilled in me a respect for authority.
4. Children need to understand that success is dependent upon their own actions. We need to learn to fight for what we really value and need in order to become good leaders. For me I think I learned this lesson later in life when I took the terrifying step to leave my comfortable career doing something I didn’t love in order to start my own business doing something that makes me want to get out of bed each morning.
So, when you look back on your childhood, do you hold a grudge for all the things that didn’t go quite right, or do you consider them to be learning experiences that have molded you into the person you are today? And, if your parents didn’t teach you be a leader of your own life, it’s never too late to start learning!
Whilst I don’t have children myself, I have six gorgeous nephews who I am watching grow up into young boys, and soon teenagers. It’s so interesting to see how different they all are (even the identical twins!), and even as an aunt, I want the best for these guys. I want them to love their lives, and to achieve their full potentials as they grow into young men.
So, it was with great interest that I read what leadership expert, Dr Tim Elmore, had to say about parental behaviours that could hold children back, and to compare those with my own childhood.
1. Children need to experience risk in order to develop healthy risk-taking behaviour. We need to fall and graze our knee, or get our heart broken. Growing up in Zimbabwe there was certainly less emphasis on safety, and grazed knees were a fairly common occurrence. In fact, when my father started his picture framing business in our garage, and my sister and I decided to have a play date with his mitre guillotine, the result was somewhat more extreme than a grazed knee (thankfully that story had a happy ending)! And heart breaks – well, I had my fair share of them!
2. Children need to learn how to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own. We need to get used to doing things without help. As a teenager I decided that I’d had enough with education, and didn’t want to go to university even though I had a capability to go. In my early twenties I decided that maybe I’d been wrong, and so I became a student again, and made sure that I paid my own way. It was tough at times, but I did it and I felt such a sense of achievement at the end. The lesson that “I can do it” has gone on to serve me well!
3. Children need to learn that poor behaviour will not be tolerated. Instead of just focusing on the “everyone is a winner” mentality, we need to know the reality that bad behaviour will get us punished. I certainly remember plenty of occasions when I had my backside spanked, and in no way do I feel that this did me any harm, but instilled in me a respect for authority.
4. Children need to understand that success is dependent upon their own actions. We need to learn to fight for what we really value and need in order to become good leaders. For me I think I learned this lesson later in life when I took the terrifying step to leave my comfortable career doing something I didn’t love in order to start my own business doing something that makes me want to get out of bed each morning.
So, when you look back on your childhood, do you hold a grudge for all the things that didn’t go quite right, or do you consider them to be learning experiences that have molded you into the person you are today? And, if your parents didn’t teach you be a leader of your own life, it’s never too late to start learning!